Blog Articles
Speaking From My Heart
On earth, there are earth angels; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I met a few while facing my death.
Yes. It is true. With humility in mind, I write my story. I am writing this to my sister-friends. You, my dear friend – please read what I share. is dire not to be ignored. It is the difference between life and death. It is the difference between breath and spirit, and I met both Monday, April 11th, 2022. It was an uneventful morning. My grandkids. . .yes, I was thinking about them. We were going to go to swim lessons. Like every Monday afternoon, it is a special time. We play in the pool, laugh, swim underwater, and pretend to be an alligator in the shallow end—Rosie on my back. Isla is running from me as I growl like the short four-legged reptile. My day was scheduled. I needed to do my workout and prep for upcoming training. Life is good, I believe. Mike and I sit in the kitchen, sunlight streaming through the window. Just beyond, I see the pinkest cherry blossoms I have ever seen in our adolescent tree.
Do You Remember the Flags?
Do you remember the flags? – red, green and blue – flapping in the wind. . . far above our heads. You swam breaststroke. . . I, backstroke.
We paddled our little limbs, wildly, earnestly . . . just to beat the clock.
Only nine and eight young years – our arms pretzeled together frozen smiles and medals beaming flashes of sunlight in our tiny hands clasped tightly. . . waiting… as if it was our last breath of air.
Tough Challenges Facing Survivors of Sexual Assault
View Tool Cultivating Healthy Body Awareness & Self-Care Activity
High-risk situations can occur when survivors are required to manage past traumatic triggers in unpredictable circumstances. Whether it is a woman facing a pelvic exam from her gynecologist, or a young man enduring a tooth extraction from his dentist, or a teenager forced to have a groin pat-down by an airport TSA agent, staying present and regulated can be challenging.
Raw and Unprotected at Age 3 . . .
Silenced by Terror
The Pain. . .Too Much to Bear
Plus, What Can Be Done if You Suspect a Child is Being Victimized by Childhood Sexual Abuse
***Trigger Warning – Please give yourself permission for self-care and love.
Heart races. Chest pounds. I awake, vigilant to the shattering dreams that remain as remnants of the nightmares I have faced. You see, I am not allowed to talk about the moonless nights of my past. The dark, scary monster that imprisoned my fragile soul was not acknowledged in the walls of my home. My tender body crippled by experiences I could not comprehend laid fragile. Tears of terror and shuttering pain remain voiceless even today in the hollows of my form.
At such a young age and for many years, I met face to face with sexual violence that some adults do not survive.
Love, Alone, Won't Stop Your Child's Addiction I Tried, and Heroin Won A Parent's View on Its Impact
My stomach grips in pain. I am lightheaded. The nausea churns my stomach. Can I throw up? Vomit, anything? Please! Dammit! They are GONE. . .AGAIN! I look. Rumpled sheets remain, in the sad, hollow darkness of their room.
It is 2 a.m. "Honey, wake-up? How can you sleep??!! They are gone." I changed and grabbed my coat. "Please? We must leave." Still groggy, he mumbled, "Where are we going?" "Out," I responded. "Where out?" he mumbled. "To find them," I cried.
Naked in the Truth I Cannot Reveal
I am so lost. I can't talk with my counselor about the rape. I am feeling sick to my stomach and want to hurt myself. I feel dirty. Ashamed. Naked in the truth I cannot reveal.
Out of fear of judgment, survivors do not easily volunteer information to their counselor about past sexual assault(s). According to a study in Scotland, victims report that they are far more likely to share past violations when asked by their therapist, especially one who demonstrates warmth, empathy, and unconditional regard.
In this same study, therapists report discomfort in inquiring about past sexual victimization for fear of opening a can of worms or being unprepared to deal with disclosures.
"You Better Watch Out. . .
I Am Going to Bite You!"
I sat in my dentist's office today. In the reception area, a six-foot tall elderly man, towering over a four-year old girl, told her, "You better watch out. . . I am going to bite you!" She stood close to her Dad. The older man continued, "You aren't afraid, are you?"
I am not sure if most would see the comment from this man as violating. The receptionist giggled awkwardly, the father motioned, "Have a good day," as he and his daughter exited the reception area. I sat, sick to my stomach.
In that moment, the collective silence violated the dignity of her as a child.
